Somehow, for a critical part in my life, I developed the unfortunate linear thinking that prevents the development of human thinking generally. That is, I concluded, work is everything. More precisely, it was my work - my ideas and my successes - that were more important.
In someway, it's always true - but only in a relevant, and not absolute, way. My work is most important to me (i.e. I am the one to take care of it and take interest in it when and if no one else does), naturally, but it's not as if my six billion planet mates don't matter.
I had been a little worried about the tremendous damage other such persons, who believed that their big idea was everything, have caused to humanity. Sadly, my personal favorite - for he understood God like few else have - Einstein, falls in that sad, sad category of humans whose brilliance has so far produced more death than life.
So I went looking for the missing piece. That little alchemical agent which, when added to the equation of all human endeavour, produced miracles, produced life.
And through a series of unfortunate but ultimately rewarding events I found: Love.
I was talking to Sha, a person with whom I can brew the thickest of thoughts, and shared my experiential conclusion that Love is what I want to do as a life-long career. To my inward surprise, he agreed readily. He said he was coming to believe that Love is all that matters.
Love is the spirit of the world.
It's so strange how Humans have been born such an ignorant specie - us, wretched, close-minded beings - that we call animals, animals. Whereas it's humanity that's been the single most catastrophic force in the history of the Multi/Universe.
I discovered a documentary on Discovery by chance. A man was lovingly stroking a shark which looked rather as pleased and obliging as my little kitten Doxy. The entire documentary was about extraordinary congenial animal behavior. I sat stunned but satisfied that my new-formed hypothesis - nay, theory, since it's been tested - about love is correct.
About two years ago, in the face of the most catastrophic experience that I undertook in the name of all things good, kind, and loving - I found myself so badly burnt I felt I was beyond repair this time. Then I remembered an old, old belief of mine that had been lost beneath piles of inhuman school/college education: The Soul Never Dies!
I decided that despite all evil that I met personally, all hurt that was caused, all that is wrong with our world (and which is hurting humanity in general such that no one is safe from the layers of fear that are now part of our psyche) - I would not be counted amongst those who broke, split and sold their souls.
I spent two years nearly alone and away from the world, and had some astounding experiences. At one time, I learnt that no one can be friendless and alone if God sides with them - and in this period, I discovered a much deeper side of the people around me. I now truly see them and see what's behind these many names and faces. Above all, I learnt to see myself, and to see the Design of Creation through me.
In March 2005 I undertook a spiritual journey to Khairpur. It was almost like discovering a hidden world of love and miracles. I met many, many people who lived by love - and being with them extraordinary for the everyday miracles they made happen. We went to a tomb that oversees the Indus flowing beneath Sukkur Bairaj. My friend Afie stood on one side, closed her eyes, and "communicated" in her mind with the blind dolphins to appear.
The Blind Dolphin is called "Bhullan" in Sindhi. It was not the hour for them to come - around 6 p.m. But shortly, dolphins began surfacing, apparently with their young. So many, many of them... it astounded our hosts, the Joyo boys.
It was but one such journey. The last year - 2006 - was one where I experienced first hand the effect of "modulating" my own love... and understood that this indeed is the most powerful force in the world.
Two years ago, when I was facing the dreadful choice of either going the way of love, or of hate and revenge, I had found it a difficult decision. There is a word I despise, but it explain exactly some hidden prejudice of people who are kind and who choose love: Loser.
True love is no loss, only phantoms of love are. Ever the science-bent, I see a so-called failed experiment of love as one way that Edison could not make a light bulb - he finally did it after some 2000 attempts.
There is Light that I believe in...
I am listening to the Indian song "Maula" the final words of which reveal a great secret:
"My heart said this,
this is what my heart said indeed...
it revealed to me, O friend!,
that the one who has love in their heart
is the one who is loved by God!"
P.S. I neither promote the "phantom" variety of love nor am I exploring how to adore fish.
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