Thursday, December 07, 2006

The Comfort of Friends

Nothing surprises me like the generosity of my family and friends.

I completed yet another year of life today, Alhamdolillah. This year, I spent a great deal of time misbehaving with people who are closest to me: family, and friends. A great deal of it was displaced anger. Another great deal of it were suppressed or belated opinions. I had been having some difficulty telling it exactly like it is earlier, so I spent this year "cleaning my system."

This year I haven't replied to emails, been obstinately refusing to answer to invites, haven't responded to my friends' persistent inquiries after me and my well-being. Some may have been surprised by my "change" later in the year to a strong-headed being. For those who are recent friends, this is a reversion to being who I truly am.

I had lost myself in the process of growing up and older, and this year I reclaimed my life - a process that was as challenging to me as it was surprising to my friends and well-wishers.

But come today, I am surprised at the goodness of all who have been affected by my metamorphosis... and wished me. Truly, I have been strange for absolutely no reason to some, at least as far as they know.

As the new year starts in my life and on the calendar, I know that I have made a lot of decisions. I have decided to forgive who I should. I have decided to not displace either my tender-heartedness to those who don't deserve it and in situations where it is not right, or my hard-headedness.

I have decided that no matter how strange or hard-to-accept it may be for myself and for those I am related to, I am best when I am my true Self, realizing my destiny - and hence this process of change and development and seeking my truth continues.

I am truly touched by and grateful for the love and warmth of my life's people. Thank you for making this a day!

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