Thursday, February 26, 2009

The Untold [a poem]

The Untold

There are conversations 
that cannot be had 
the way we have
ordinary conversation: 
by turning to face someone 
and uttering a few words.

There are conversations 
that are made 
by catching the eyes of another 
and beholding them with our eyes. 
Letting the windows of one soul 
open into those of another.

There are conversations 
that are finer and subtler 
that those made by ways of seeing. 
These are conversations
of feelings that move whichever way they choose 
in the chambers of our hearts. 

There is, though, a conversation 
that is finer and subtler than these all. 
It is the conversation that is not. 
It cannot be had with any other 
or even our Self. 
It is just what it is. 

It is a conversation that we are having 
whichever way we turn or not
wherever side we look or not 
whether we are awake or not 
whether we know we are
having this conversation, or not.

It is the conversation of which 
we are the alphabet. 
It takes place with us 
and despite us. 
Within us and
without us. 

December 29, 2008
by: RA
aka The Prophecy 

This rather rambling and perhaps yet unfinished poem was written two months ago. I began composing about one thing, and ended up with this. Well! 

So Much Within

Sometimes my mind just paralyzes. I sense there is so much within, that through the little aperture of the mouth and the slow medium of my hands writing, communicating day and night lately, it still all just splutters forth. Often, an incoherent babble.  

The act of communicating, over time, renders a form to the exodus of the mass of ideas, thoughts, and knowledge within. I must keep writing. The practice will lend itself grace and form over time. 

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Life Update: February 10, 2009 - 1:17 AM onwards

Alhamdolillah - all praise be to Allah! - I am well tonight. 

Yesterday I started a healing routine. Actually it's still not a routine - my life is still very disrupted - but it is healing all right. I have also started a new journal. I am considering starting a dedicated (series of) blog(s) on healing as I have done quite a few experiments in the field. However I do not think I shall be adding anything to the body of knowledge except some of the techniques I have developed myself, for myself. 

My belief, though, is that each person has an absolutely individual and unique approach to something. So my techniques will not work for another. What I have always been interested in, far more than any technique, is learning the ability to master a technique. This is not the same as learning the technique itself. 

There are some fundamental principles and "secrets" to each art or science. I am far more interested in learning those, and also going through the process of transformation which enables me to learn the art or science. The knowledge itself is secondary to the transformation. To give an analogy, we pick the weight to build the muscles, we do not build muscles to pick the weight. This is because of the weight and our muscles, it is the muscles that is us. We work with and on that which is us or closest to us in a situation. In that way, we achieve a more permanent shift and development. And we are able to master the change of phenomenon. The weight, in this analogy, is phenomenon: The material, the tangible, the destructible, the unreliable. 

So. I am wary of using a technique that makes one bypass transformation. I do not want answers as much as I want to formulate questions - my questions. To me, a technique is not my savior or my master - it is my servant and my tool. 

When I felt that I had acquired that level of responsibility, I decided to use a couple of techniques. For physical healing and well-being, the technique in question related to acupressure plus affirmations. 

Yesterday I started a journal to outline the issues I want to address, their various aspects, and what I believe are underlying causes. On an inspiration, I listed all the significant events or "turning points" of my life - those which have been disruptive events. I want to examine my memory with respect to that issue and determine if it still emotionally disrupts my life. 

A few such events in the past year have, in some sense, nothing to do with my personal or family life. They are national or world events - political and religious affairs. Yet these matters now form a significant part of our consciousness. There was a time when it was easy to be on top of these events because understanding and discourse was limited to a few people who could reach agreement or disagreement swiftly amongst themselves. Yet the scope and depth of information and people involved is much vaster and deeper now. To take stock of the Totality is an enterprise. 

I have realized today that I am not being obsessive or, to put it politely, constrictive about this review. Rather, it is an exercise in being aware and deliberate. 

Now I will say, for the record, that for most of my life I used to make good use of paper and pen to make a rational, written analysis of affairs and situations. Then I gave the practice up and thought that this was being non-manipulative, open to chance, and fresh-approached. I think now that for a good long while, it was useful that I dived in to this Cloud where I lost all control and sense. 

Years later, a sense of organization and clearer thinking is returning to me. I am able to make use of my pen & paper again. Does that surprise you that for years I have not been able to make any use of any organizational tool? Paradoxically, it's only when my life is once again embracing the great uncertainty of being that I am able to make any use of rationality again!

The meaning of everything, really, is in its opposite! 

I must sleep now. This blog, I realize, is quite unhelpful to anyone who has no idea of what I am talking about. And for those who have had similar experiences, well - what use is it! Somewhere in the recesses of my mind is this aim that I must write anew about these life experiences, lifting the veil this time. Well, guess what? Actually that is exactly what I am doing these days. Having given all chaotic activities up, this is exactly what I am devoting myself to! 

This and the still great uncertainty of being! 

Good night!

Friday, February 06, 2009

Are you really giving love daily - self-test

This one came in a newsletter. Very useful. 

The truth is that too often we look for love to come our way, when the best way to receive love is to give love on a daily basis.

Here is a quick quiz to see if you are really giving love daily. It is based on holy scriptures that read: Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast. Love is not proud, rude or self-seeking and love takes no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. Love always protects, always trust, always hopes and always perseveres. Love never quits. [1 Corinthians 13]

Now, to take the test, say your name everywhere you see the word LOVE and see if the scripture still speaks the truth.  (ie. Ali/Miriam is patient.......that one might get a bunch of us right there!)

If you find that you aren't being love, then perhaps you aren't really giving love to its fullest.  Take time this week to be the love you wish to receive and watch how love begins to come your way!