Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Life Update: February 10, 2009 - 1:17 AM onwards

Alhamdolillah - all praise be to Allah! - I am well tonight. 

Yesterday I started a healing routine. Actually it's still not a routine - my life is still very disrupted - but it is healing all right. I have also started a new journal. I am considering starting a dedicated (series of) blog(s) on healing as I have done quite a few experiments in the field. However I do not think I shall be adding anything to the body of knowledge except some of the techniques I have developed myself, for myself. 

My belief, though, is that each person has an absolutely individual and unique approach to something. So my techniques will not work for another. What I have always been interested in, far more than any technique, is learning the ability to master a technique. This is not the same as learning the technique itself. 

There are some fundamental principles and "secrets" to each art or science. I am far more interested in learning those, and also going through the process of transformation which enables me to learn the art or science. The knowledge itself is secondary to the transformation. To give an analogy, we pick the weight to build the muscles, we do not build muscles to pick the weight. This is because of the weight and our muscles, it is the muscles that is us. We work with and on that which is us or closest to us in a situation. In that way, we achieve a more permanent shift and development. And we are able to master the change of phenomenon. The weight, in this analogy, is phenomenon: The material, the tangible, the destructible, the unreliable. 

So. I am wary of using a technique that makes one bypass transformation. I do not want answers as much as I want to formulate questions - my questions. To me, a technique is not my savior or my master - it is my servant and my tool. 

When I felt that I had acquired that level of responsibility, I decided to use a couple of techniques. For physical healing and well-being, the technique in question related to acupressure plus affirmations. 

Yesterday I started a journal to outline the issues I want to address, their various aspects, and what I believe are underlying causes. On an inspiration, I listed all the significant events or "turning points" of my life - those which have been disruptive events. I want to examine my memory with respect to that issue and determine if it still emotionally disrupts my life. 

A few such events in the past year have, in some sense, nothing to do with my personal or family life. They are national or world events - political and religious affairs. Yet these matters now form a significant part of our consciousness. There was a time when it was easy to be on top of these events because understanding and discourse was limited to a few people who could reach agreement or disagreement swiftly amongst themselves. Yet the scope and depth of information and people involved is much vaster and deeper now. To take stock of the Totality is an enterprise. 

I have realized today that I am not being obsessive or, to put it politely, constrictive about this review. Rather, it is an exercise in being aware and deliberate. 

Now I will say, for the record, that for most of my life I used to make good use of paper and pen to make a rational, written analysis of affairs and situations. Then I gave the practice up and thought that this was being non-manipulative, open to chance, and fresh-approached. I think now that for a good long while, it was useful that I dived in to this Cloud where I lost all control and sense. 

Years later, a sense of organization and clearer thinking is returning to me. I am able to make use of my pen & paper again. Does that surprise you that for years I have not been able to make any use of any organizational tool? Paradoxically, it's only when my life is once again embracing the great uncertainty of being that I am able to make any use of rationality again!

The meaning of everything, really, is in its opposite! 

I must sleep now. This blog, I realize, is quite unhelpful to anyone who has no idea of what I am talking about. And for those who have had similar experiences, well - what use is it! Somewhere in the recesses of my mind is this aim that I must write anew about these life experiences, lifting the veil this time. Well, guess what? Actually that is exactly what I am doing these days. Having given all chaotic activities up, this is exactly what I am devoting myself to! 

This and the still great uncertainty of being! 

Good night!


  1. I think you are on the right track. I have had some success breaking up headaches on others using prayer and accupressure. I have found the most success with those that believe in the concept, or else it takes a long time to prepare the person for such a belief that the it can be done without medication.

    Ya Haqq!

  2. A little story about healing from a whole different perspective.

    I have a diagnosis of depression and demanding personality. I'm eating SSRI:s and seeing a therapist.

    Besides the diagnosis I've faced a lot of existential anxiety. In other words I felt meaningless and depressed.

    Evertyhing changer for a moment just about a year ago. A friend of mine called me and asked to come telemark skiing with him and his buddies. I've been telemarking for 16 years, but at that time I have had a two-year long pause.

    We went telemarking and the experience was healing. I faced a situation where I just had to let go of controll, because in telemark skiing there's just too many aspects to control. In other words it's impossible to controll everything when you're on skis.

    While doing a good telemark turn the skier just needs to focus on it completely and stay relaxed at the same time. There was just me and I was just a part of the turn, while my stance and position dynamicly changed constanty. I was one with my skis, the slope and snow. And my depressive feelings and thoughts were gone.

    Later I've been thinking about telemarking as an experience of facing non-duality. There was just some simple beauty in every turn and every part of every turn. And it was good for me.

    This was just a little story from a different perspective, but I wanted to share it with You because it helped me at the moment.


  3. Dear Irving:

    Wow, interesting! Thank you for the affirmation of the healing technique. By now, I can say it has really worked well for me... and I have moved on to exploring my inner being more deeply once those initial blocks were tapped away.

    I am thinking more fluidly, for instance.

    Dear Tantor:

    Your experience is really magnificent, and touching. Thank you for sharing this part of your journey.

    Certainly the blocks and curves and the tracks of our minds shape the map of our tangible life. This is how it is. And yet sometimes it helps to steer through the tangible life (through the body) that undoes our blocks within.

    May you stay in the flow, always!

    _ Prophecy