God Speed the End

Ever since I have returned to Pakistan after a month-long sojourn in Africa, I have heard snippets of the very few conversations that are audible. I haven't stepped out of the home, yet I can feel that the silence is deafening. It is not just to do with the fact that I have been practicing silencing my internal dialog during my learning journey in Africa. There is something really dark and sick going on in here.

I did manage to get one opinion that went along the lines of labeling itself as "optimistic." I was stunned into an awe-struck silence. That reminded me of the very unreal interview of a certain businessman Something Sabzwari  in the aftermath of the Benazir Bhutto assassination, which I caught on CNN/ BBC while in Africa. That gentleman had the nerve to quote the rise of the stock exchange index as the measure of "all is well" in Pakistan.

I think this is delusional behavior. This country is burning, it is in the throes of destruction, and our lifeboat is made up of a handful of completely self-delusional capitalists. God bless them! This class of humans has single-handedly delivered the Humankind into a state of "homicidal egotism" - now where did I read that phrase today and what does it mean anyway? The capacity of the businessman to completely be a sightless ass as long as they and their friends are able to keep bidding on the world resources is a remarkable kind of clinical blindness.

Personally, I am a woman of faith. It means, I generally prefer faith over doubt. For the past two years though, my faith has set my heart on hell's fire. I felt it drove my unhappy to have faith. What I had forgotten that faith and "goodness" are mutually exclusive - sometimes the opposite of each other. The obsession with goodness stretched to the point of hearing no evil, seeing no evil, speaking no evil is madness. It's evil itself.

So I can no longer equate my emotional need to be in a peaceful home with reality. The reality is that, in contemporary lingo, Pakistan is screwed.

They showed on TV a child today who was kept captive by his "master" - hungry, beaten up, and burnt with hot iron rods on charges of suspected robbery. They showed the child disrobed on TV; he is singed and fractured all over. The madman had this to say in explanation: "We just wanted to find out on our own about the theft, we wanted to resolve this at our end and not take this to police. And this child wasn't telling where the loot was hidden; sometimes he'd give one location, then another." Yes, Uncle Evil. You would do the same if treated likewise. Imagine a child refusing to give up the location of that Titanic treasure under such duress. His poor father who went to rescue was also captured.

This news report confirmed to me what I am completely sure of now: this country is personally bookmarked by God for punitive destruction. There is nothing that can be done any longer, for the rot is too great and too pervasive. This madman was no extraordinary case. Abuse of the young is a culturally accepted fact that passes under the banners of "culture," "society," and that fit-all evil glove: religion. If an evil act if not justified, make it part of religious decree. Put the maniacs in business. Hunt the witches.

My uncle did a private investigation in the city of Faisalabad where a Mullah was willing to prepare forged back-dated marriage certificates for a couple that had intercourse out of wedlock. The couple did not exist; it was a story that a group of friends fabricated to validate their suspicion of the where-did-they-come-from? clergyman. He negotiated down from Rs. 70,000 to around 40,000 when the man of the "couple" didn't show up - thinking the money demand was the issue. Anything for money. If people question, let loose the dogs of clergy - which by the way is not an institution of the faith the people of the Land of the Pure practice, i.e. Islam, but let's not get microscopic, eh? Let's abrogate all personal responsibility to a bunch of vile men and equally vile women. Let's give this phenomenon beautiful, idealistic names. Let's indulge ourselves in the basest practices of inhumanity, and still believe we are the Chosen Ones. Chosen for what?

I am not surprised that the Universe will no longer tolerate our foul presence. Therefore, I am quite resigned to the fact that the natural system has moved into motion, and that this evil will be cleansed away. This is the only way, and no longer is it far or avoidable. It's necessary, here and in motion.

God speed, and may the innocent be protected only if they are to learn.