Today was my first theater class. Actually, I took a mime class yesterday. Mime is the adults' term for the antics and theatrics of children. We played many kiddie games. Making faces and the eccentric gaits and gestures was certainly slipping down the age ladder. And did I enjoy it! try at home; it is a deliciously liberating and educative experience.
Today I attended my first regular theater class at the Academy. I swithced lanes; and a mixed feeling of liberation and anxiety came with the package. Finally I told myself, what's the big deal? Why are we, in this society, so rigid about the charts of our lives anyway?
But really, it isn't easy for me, with my linear education, and lateral mind. Ah, I think I have put it better than how I did last time before this post was erased. Lateral mind, and linear education. I think I have banged on the issue!
I distinctly remember December 31, when I made the last-hours decision to join the course. I decided to walk to and from the Academy. The helped me lower my head while walking among strangers and think, Should I? Shouldn't I?
At that moment, I thought I needed inspiration, the support of someone who'd understand exactly what I want and what I am afraid of and what I aspire for.
I have an imagery for moments of inspiration, expecially when they are created by another visible being. I imagine the simple picture of a glorious, brilliant sun piercing through the density of clouds after the rain. That glistening ray of the sun! That energy that reveals itself gradually but powerfully.
And so I thought of Someone who, unlike most others in my life, understands me. And my dreams, which are essentially me. The night before, I promised that I will never compromise - never on my dreams, my abilities, my potential.
And as my feet wavered as I walked up to the Academy, that promise became my inspiration, my hope. I did not know about the future, but I thought it was good enough for all those who first walked on an unknown path to have someone who believed in them as blindly and unconditionally as they believed in their dreams. Whenever I do not compromise on what I can achieve, and what difference I can make, I have to look in to my heart, where I keep all memories and promises beautiful, and whisper the simple words: Thank you.
Friday, February 11, 2005
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hehe...the kiddie faces and gestures...I do that all the time with my kids. Got to think of it as 'educational' and 'liberating' next time :)
ReplyDeleteBeing childish has to be liberating! Are you sure mothers don''t get used to it - until they can't tell the difference? :)
ReplyDeleteI'd imagine that being a good storyteller is one of those strange jobs that mothers have to do - all in the "line of duty."
I'm a strong believer in putting things on hold and giving priority to my kids, so interesting that you talk about strange jobs being in the line of duty for mothers.
ReplyDeleteHaving completed an MBA and worked in the market research area, I sometimes see each of my children as little projects or 'work in progress'. I had to do some level of research on each of them and they're each at different stages of the learning curve!