Last Thursday, I got a bit unpleasant with my laptop. The hard disk did not approve at all, and died. (Rather, it went into a very convincing coma.) I spent the next two days as worried and hopeful as one can be in such a situation. At one point, I decided to foresee my life as it would be without all the hard work that I hadn't backed up, and could now possibly lose.
I saw, in my imagination, myself being able to carry on. In fact, I felt secretly happy. Ah, the possibility of starting afresh has never frightened me - and I don't see why I haven't got a glowing career in disaster recovery or new city planning!
Anyhow. My luck has cooperated. Much of the data seems to be back. My heart is in the right place. A movie that I saw by sheer chance - featuring Queen Latifah who laughed through the horrible challenges her budding business faced - proved to be a teacher that came in handy.
I had also read the account of a Sufi saint (Maulana Rumi, I think) who turned from being an academic scholar to a true "seeker" after he encountered a gang of robbers. He pleaded with thm to not take his books lest he lost his hard-acquired knowledge. At this the robbers chided: "What kind of knowledge is it that you can lose to robbers?" The saint was never the same again and rose to be a great Sufi teacher himself.
I searched myself during the few days while the disk was gone for checking (it's still on the operation table) and I found that - God be praised! - I had not lost my knowledge. I had also learnt that I was capable of being unkind to a poor defenceless laptop for which - shame on me! Shame!
Ah! May the best happen!
Allah is Beautiful, and Hu Loves Beauty!
When the primordial Question, "Am I not your Lord?" reached my perception, I remember, I had said, "Yes! And You are Beautiful! And I love You!" That became the anthem of my soul. Then I was put to sleep. Now I wake up. This is a chronicle of my awakening.
Sunday, January 21, 2007
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