Once upon last night... *oh no!*

“Raat ki baat ka ab zikar hi kiya
Choriye raat gayee, baat gayee”

Let’s not talk about what happened yesterday. Let it be; what happened yesterday, end yesterday.

So said the poet who believed in getting over. One would wish more people with his wisdom. I had a look at my psyche recently, and it revealed to my squeaking surprise that most of what I thought was my own hurt was actually the result of listening to the excruciating details of The Constant Whiners.

While I do have respect for sharing feelings and getting the opinion of the wise, I have – like many other humans do – a disinterest in elaborating past chronicles, especially the painful, inane ones. To be on the listening end can quickly go beyond being a patient listener into being a soapbox, a wailing wall, or a forced supporter.

I can’t say, though, that I have stuck to my philosophy. For a while it seemed to me that the one way of getting along with others is to rejoice in complain.

The experience has been an eye-opener, if no less a heart-splinterer. I cannot say if it’s because the agonizing (painful or dull, boring – it’s just agonizing) past itself, or whether it’s the difference of my optimistic Sagittarian nature with this kind of post-mortem analysis – I found my experience disturbing and sticky like a wet blanket. If you haven’t been stuck on by a wet blanket before, experiment dealing with a soggy cotton ball.

Being stoical and patient was right after all. And if my personal experience doesn’t hold a candle, here is additional testimony of those who are even getting paid to listen.


P.S. “Burying it” is quite different and just as drastic as “venting it – again. And again.” The correct strategy is to “face it, understand it, resolve it, and move on.” Those who bring you back to it should be calmly and forcefully reminded to mind their own business. I’ve tried it.

P.P.S. In case of any psychological or personal issue, don’t look up to blogs or friends equally clueless as ourselves – no matter how smart and deep they sound. Go see a counselor, a mentor, or any other wise person who has no stake in your life. If your gut doesn’t trust them, let your feet walk. Be happy.