Thursday, April 26, 2007

Take it Slow

I've got some relationship advice to give: People, take it slow!

Yes yes I believe in all those charm and first look and first intuition and impression and electricity - oh wait, aura - things. But take it slow. There are times when you can click-click-click but you got to take time to: click-click-click and be sure... and to progress.

This advice is true from personal relationships whether of blood or marriage or friendship - or business relationships. Don't bring everything from your past to the table and avoid wish-listing.

I often see this happening on projects where even before the project #1 kicks off, wish-listing starts. In fact, it's also some kind of Pakistanism. Before one can roll up discussion on one idea and start implementing, there comes another.

And I absolutely don't get that "let's make Pakistan better" thing. You know once upon a short time I got afraid of thinking my congenital dream of "changing the world." That's because I actually started picturing myself as a huge Atlas-esque giant who took the world in its hands, and spun and shook it. No wonder when I looked at my hands - I knew I must immediately give up or suffer a huge disillusionment.

That is NOT how the world is changed - you can't spin it all at one time! The word "world" here means the chunk of world around you, assigned to you. The kind of world that makes sense when dudes sing, "Ooh baby, you rock my world!" DOES-NOT-MEAN-PLANET-EARTH!

In my attempts to "help people," I am so damned annoyed by these change-the-world-means-planetary-shakeup types. And I absolutely can hear Presidential tones in the voices of the let's-change-Pakistan types.

No. How about - let's get our street cleaned up for a start? How about, reach a slum of kids? How about just do our job honestly and make sure we have our system in order?

If you can't take the first step - why talk about the journey of a thousand miles?

Whether it's business, do-goodism (with which I have lots of problems even though I often find myself doing it - I'll tell some time exactly what's wrong with this do-good thingy too), or personal tender love and care - limit the agenda to THE NOW. Let life unroll over time. Don't stuff the start, particularly, with promises, dreams, a thousand wishes, and plans.

Dude - evaluate who you are working with. And by all means, take the time to understand where they're coming from and where they're going to. Save yourself lots of nasty surprises. And actually - if you're blindfolding yourself and wishing-washing, don't be surprised when the other person doesn't end up being aligned with you.

Keep your eyes open - give others room. And by all means, WALK if you sense the other party is leading you on. If you think so, they are doing so.

Take it slow. Not in terms of speeeeeeeddddd, but evolving. One step at a time. You'll love it!

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