What a moment it is when one realizes that at the end of the path, they meet none other than one's own self.
That one's self is vulnerable, open, truly bewildered, and utterly not-in-control. That one is sustained in a fascinating way with a threadbare yet potent connection that grants one all life.
There is no mastery of the affair, and no end to further comprehension. At the end, one is only left in a state of not-knowing. "I know that I truly, really, do not know."
Answers vanish.
Notions dissolve.
There is no mastery of the future. There is no way that the past can be erased such that it is not a living part of one's self. One comes only as far as the Present.
Where one is one. One is whole. One is complete. One is as one is.
One is brought back to the center, to the self, to a state of necessary obligation and acception, for beyond that circumference is a raging fire -- a friend that defines the parameter of one's being.
One is no one.
Thus far one comes, and no further shall one go.
And Allah knows best.
Alhamdolillah!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
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I read these words that I wrote 28 months and a day earlier, and I realize that perhaps I wrote this journal in a sort of predictive dream that laid down the path for me. For some of me had evolved when I wrote this, but much of me—mostly my 'functional self', the one in charge of day-to-day worldly affairs—was greatly asleep.
ReplyDeleteNow she awakens, and she has these words to read. Subhan'Allah, Shukr'Allah!
~
I have something to add for the reader:
The text says that the self is 'utterly-not-in-control'. This can be confusing and even misleading if we do not understand the place for this, because this deals with esoteric reality. If confused with a condition in outside reality, this can be misleading, and, in fact, I was misled by my own esoteric utterings until I have begun to regain a sense of what is what, and
[Continued from previous comment]
ReplyDelete...where is where.
Know this: In the inward, we face Allah, The Reality if Realities, and in THAT presence we are "vulnerable, open, bewildered, truly not-in-control". That quality and recognition, however, lends a DIRECT OPPOSITE outer reality: we become powerful, masterful, clearer, surer, and in charge of our own affair. (Openness remains openness—it is a sort of transparency, a clarity. Through our transparency, then, onlookers can see the spark of divinity within.)
This matter is befuddling unless explained with an earthly example: Imagine Sir David Attenborough, the naturalist, on one of his nature study trips. Who is more fascinated with the knowledge, the reality (natural world) he's looking upon—he, or a cameraperson on duty? Unless the cameraperson is a gifted naturalist themselves (such gift is a grant of nature, not anyone's privilege), most likely Sir Attenborough is usually the more fascinated, the more attentive in his group, it can be guessed. What others will miss, he sees. He surrenders his eye to nature. Many people will visit the Galapagos Islands, but they will not see even with functioning eyes and ears what he sees.
He studies because he does not consider himself a master, nor is he bored. Ge is open to discovery, bewildered (fascinated—as he clearly appears to be in his documentaries, to the extent of being infectious), not-in-control of the mystery.
And THAT very quality in his heart makes him a masterful naturalist to the outer world.
All great practitioners of any art, science, or sport are likewise in awe of their subject in a degree and manner that ordinary observers are not. But once the practitioner surrenders to their knowledge, it becomes visible even to the other. Sir Attenborough does not appear to the audience's eye as some old fellow walking about in interesting landscapes—he has become so transparent, he has become so invisible as a person in the pursuit of their knowledge/reality that we see NATURE in him and through him, without his personality ir personal story getting in the way.
Further note: There ARE so-called great practitioners of sports, art, and sciences who master the act of their field, but do not master themselves. They've figured out how the aspect of reality they are interested in (nature, music, cycling, wrestling, mechanics) works, but they have not been awed by their knowledge, they do not disappear.
Their personality, consequently, keeps surfacing—it does not disappear. The observer then sees both them, and an unclear light of divinity within.
The ego of such a person has not died; a further self-clarification is required. The true purpose of all that knowledge was the disappearance of personality!
Allah knows best.
The Prophecy
24 May 2012