All my heroes

And, indeed, Van Gogh's biography Lust for Life is what inspires this diary.

I loved Van Gogh for a long, long time for very personal reasons. There was a time when I perfectly understood why had he chopped his earlobe off, and presented it as a gift of love to one of his models... I thought those kinds of expressions of love with one's self and one's agitated mind made sense.

Then I heard a line in the song These Days of Bon Jovi. Jimmy Shoes, the suicidal hero of the song, jumps from a second-story window, "trying to learn to fly." To his mother who thought he was crazy for trying, Shoes says, "Don't you know that all my heroes died?"

I decided that moment that I will never follow a leader who died. But one who lived, and lived on.